I´ll always miss you

Now I remember after three years just now I remember that it was on feb 8th when this nightmare happened. yeah i received that e-mail, yeah i was in my dorm in the computer lab, it was Monday right before going to the cafeteria to have lunch, now evertyhing comes to my mind again. i just read that e-mail which changed my life and the way of living it. 8 miles away from you yeah but now that distance is just imaginary cos you are closer to me eventhough i can´t see you.
It was monday morning yeah nobody was home in chile ( of course vacations were going on so...) i remember that i couldn´t believe it, maybe i still can´t and i was so alone. i thought so many stupid things, but after months I realized that you were ok and happy.
I always remember your face,your smile, your strengh, you were always there for me, and i just was not there for you when you needed it. it was not my fault now i know, it wasn´t my fault, it was just destiny, it was just faith.
i miss you everyday, and i know that you are with me like always, i just can´t see you now because we are so far away in distance but not in soul. you were the only person who really loved me and i will be always grateful for that.
when i look back i always see you there, and i´ll keep a part of you with me forever and ever. a hug, a smile, a kiss and the usual goodbye were the last acctions that i remember of you, nice...
i haven´t get over you, i know. i haven´t gone to visit you, maybe it just becasue i don´t wanna know that it´s real, maybe i rather keep the feeling that i´m dreaming and we are just apart because of the distance...
i miss you so bad, ijust hope that you knew how much i loved you and still do, no pictures, no letters,no more crying or maybe yeap sometimes i do cry for you just cos i miss you and i wish you were here. it´s funny how i learned the importance of letting people know how much i care for them. i just wondER if you ever knew how much i did care for you.
now i remember everything, the dark side of my trip, the feelings that nobody ever knew, now i remember and just now after 3 years i can write about it, i can´t talk about it but i just write. i imagine this is the letter that I never wrote to you, this is the way that i can post how much i need you, how much i love you. Remember: "always smile, everything happens at the right time". You were ready to move, i just hope one day i can be ready too, but now i just don´t know, i´m just looking for answers or peace. i´ll be fine, and you will be always in my mind and life. oh God! i need you so bad,i´m lost i´m really lost.
you are my light and i feel you with me, and i know that you want me to be happy,and i swear that i´m trying to be, i´m trying i just can´t, but i know that one day I will be, don´t worry I will and you will be proud of me...