Sunday, February 19, 2006

I´ll always miss you


Now I remember after three years just now I remember that it was on feb 8th when this nightmare happened. yeah i received that e-mail, yeah i was in my dorm in the computer lab, it was Monday right before going to the cafeteria to have lunch, now evertyhing comes to my mind again. i just read that e-mail which changed my life and the way of living it. 8 miles away from you yeah but now that distance is just imaginary cos you are closer to me eventhough i can´t see you.
It was monday morning yeah nobody was home in chile ( of course vacations were going on so...) i remember that i couldn´t believe it, maybe i still can´t and i was so alone. i thought so many stupid things, but after months I realized that you were ok and happy.
I always remember your face,your smile, your strengh, you were always there for me, and i just was not there for you when you needed it. it was not my fault now i know, it wasn´t my fault, it was just destiny, it was just faith.
i miss you everyday, and i know that you are with me like always, i just can´t see you now because we are so far away in distance but not in soul. you were the only person who really loved me and i will be always grateful for that.
when i look back i always see you there, and i´ll keep a part of you with me forever and ever. a hug, a smile, a kiss and the usual goodbye were the last acctions that i remember of you, nice...
i haven´t get over you, i know. i haven´t gone to visit you, maybe it just becasue i don´t wanna know that it´s real, maybe i rather keep the feeling that i´m dreaming and we are just apart because of the distance...
i miss you so bad, ijust hope that you knew how much i loved you and still do, no pictures, no letters,no more crying or maybe yeap sometimes i do cry for you just cos i miss you and i wish you were here. it´s funny how i learned the importance of letting people know how much i care for them. i just wondER if you ever knew how much i did care for you.
now i remember everything, the dark side of my trip, the feelings that nobody ever knew, now i remember and just now after 3 years i can write about it, i can´t talk about it but i just write. i imagine this is the letter that I never wrote to you, this is the way that i can post how much i need you, how much i love you. Remember: "always smile, everything happens at the right time". You were ready to move, i just hope one day i can be ready too, but now i just don´t know, i´m just looking for answers or peace. i´ll be fine, and you will be always in my mind and life. oh God! i need you so bad,i´m lost i´m really lost.
you are my light and i feel you with me, and i know that you want me to be happy,and i swear that i´m trying to be, i´m trying i just can´t, but i know that one day I will be, don´t worry I will and you will be proud of me...

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Good Luck

Dos años, ahora ya serian tres, tanto tiempo , tantas cosas pasaron en tu vida que te hicieron cambiar demasiado, o a lo mejor yo nunca te conoci. frias tierras que me demostraron lo poco que te interesaba, maybe it was better, maybe you were right the whole time, you can´t have a love 8.000 miles away or just maybe you are still inmature and insecure, a boy playing to be a man.
I still don´t understand why did you do that. you have your reasons i guess i hope you have them, otherwise you won´t deserve be called a man.
frios vientos de una lejana tierra que me despidieron de ti, millas y horas de viaje para darme cuenta de toda una farsa armada con tiempo por una persona cruel o simplemente inmadura? espero que sea la ultima.
fue el fin de un capitulo que necesitaba cerrar, ahora hace ya un mes de lo sucedido lo miro con otros ojos, fue bueno , me hizo crecer y desligarme. now i don´t believe in anything i just live the moment, and for sure i´m not angry not even mad, i´m glad who i am. my life is changing and finally you are not on it.
i wish you the best, nos volveremos a encontrar y te daras cuenta que lo que perdiste fue mas que una simple persona que siempre estaba ahi, you miss the love of your life.